Sh%t My Kids Ruined: Kitchen Chair Edition

I was once a non-parent. It wasn't even that long ago in the grand scheme of things, only seven years. We were newlyweds, regulars at the neighborhood pub and on a first name basis with Tom, the bartender. Everything we owned fit in two VW Jetta's and we regularly packed our belongings into the trunks and left town to follow the next flying contract.

There are many different types of people with as many perfectly valid reasons for not being parents. In the years before we started our little family, I was firmly planted in the "baby fever but husband not on board" group. We had decided that we weren't ready to start a family but that it could definitely be in our near future. We bought our first home, had plans on staying in one place for the next few years and were feeling like grown ups for the first time since we'd gotten married. It was at this point that we became slightly delusional.